• Heather Green

How I Planned for Resolution Success!

I LOVE the New Year. It’s actually my favorite holiday. There’s something cleansing about a date on which you can focus a new start on. There’s a lot of discussion on whether New Year’s resolutions are worth having. A lot of them don’t last very long, and honestly, I can admit to a lot of BIG DREAMS That fizzled out a week later. I personally think how the resolutions make you feel has a lot to do with whether or not you should have them. I also think that sometimes people start off with great ideas of what they want to do more of, like “being happier in the New Year” but they don’t actually know what that looks like. This is why I really enjoy the concept of making S.M.A.R.T. goals. If you don’t know what those are I highly suggest that you read up on it HERE.

I’m going to share a few of my resolutions for 2019.

1.) I would like to lose 52 pounds this year!: Being a victim of being stalked (which you can read about HERE) really took a toll on my body. I gained around 75lbs because of being afraid to leave my home and stress eating. I chose 52 pounds because it’s measurable, and it’s safe to lose a pound a week. My goal, however, is NOT to lose a pound a week, because that’s unreasonable. When you start working out, it’s typical to lose a bunch of weight (mostly due to water), and then there are plateaus in which your body is adjusting and you may not lose anything! Giving myself a specific goal, but a large time in which to measure my success helps me to not stress if I didn’t meet my one pound weight loss goal due to my body adjusting.

What am I using to keep me on track?: I actually used to be really super healthy before being stalked and I did that using a couple of different tricks. First, apps are amazing. I have a Fitbit I wear which tracks not only how many steps I take, but what I’m doing to move my body at the gym and, that also syncs with My Fitness Pal which is a fantastic app which helps me track my calorie intake. Not only is it free, but it has a HUGE database of foods. I’m also using Google Calendar to make sure I block out time to workout!

In addition to this, I decided that on the 1st I would sign up as a VIP for Fabletics which is a monthly exercise subscription. I’ve used them before and they had great clothes that were reasonably priced and high quality (lol I’m not being paid to write this. It’s my honest opinion). My hope is that if I have cute clothes to wear I’ll want to show them off at the gym. Also, considering it’s a monthly subscription, it would be nice to see the size go down as I lose the weight.

What am I doing mentally to help myself?: I feel like weight loss has a lot to do with how you are mentally. People gain weight for a lot of reasons and I feel like rarely is it because they decided to be a pig and sit around and eat. For me, eating gave me a place to release anger for being stalked. I had to deal with that anger and I see a therapist twice a week at the writing of this entry. I need to see diet and exercise as a way of showing myself love and being kind to myself, rather than as punishment because I went through something traumatic. I’m also trying to eat as though I was already at my goal weight. That’s real mental magic right there, to see yourself as someone who’s already achieved the goal.

2.) I would like to regularly post on my blog!: This is actually a deep one for me. In the past, I’ve not given myself enough credit to see worth in my dreams. I was told very clearly by my parents that being an artist and a writer was a stupid career goal to have and that I’d never earn any money. While it’s what my heart desired, I kept pushing it away in the hopes that I’d find something more “socially acceptable” to do with my life but the truth is, I’m perfectly positioned in life to really go after my dreams and I’ve wasted enough time not doing what I like! So my goal is to post every Wednesday as well as really invest in my other social media accounts (which you can find in my sidebar and contact me section of this blog).

What am I using to keep me on track?: I use Google Calendar to organize my whole life, to be honest. I schedule times to blog new articles, Work on Vlog items (which I want to feature on my blog posts), times to Tweet, post on my Instagram, Facebook, and Tumblr accounts, as well as write letters for my email newsletter and create banners, and pins for my posts. This is a crazy amount of stuff to do, so I’m also researching using a Media Management Group, but that’s a work currently in progress.

What am I doing to mentally help myself?: Seeing blogging and my art as actual jobs, and seeing myself as worthy of having a fun job to do has been a huge step. I think also learning how to embrace my life and the opportunities I have instead of downplaying or apologizing for them was also a pretty big thing for me mentally which I learned in therapy. In the past, I believed that a job didn’t really count unless you made a ton of money and you hated getting up in the morning. Truth is, I don’t need a lot of money to be happy, and I love what I do and I shouldn’t have to feel bad about that.

3.) I want to make my home a place I want to be. This is a little more abstract and I might have to think about it more to figure out what it specifically means. I’m going to list it on here anyway because sometimes a thought or a feeling is all we have to go off of. Being stalked and harassed by postal workers literally brought my anxieties right to my front door and backyard. HERE, you can actually see a video taken at 6:30 at night of my stalker sneaking up behind my home and taking flash pictures. He would time when he came by based on whether I was making meals. My home was a constant source of fear.

Some people told me to move, but I didn’t think that was a good solution. How can I buy a home and feel good if I knew something bad could happen and then I’d have to move? Also, that’s exactly what my stalker would have wanted and I’m not okay with letting him bully me out of my home. Instead, I’ve been working on rebuilding.

I’ve recently returned from a fantastic trip to Australia. I love traveling. I’ve been to Japan, Malaysia, Puerto Rico, England and now Australia, and there is something to be said about what that mentally does. I’ve learned I’m happiest when I’m in the moment. I mean, if I break it down, I’m still on the same planet. There are some basic elements that never change. There are trees, oxygen, and people…BUT, I’m noticing what kind of trees and the smells they have. I’m noticing breezes. I’m enjoying learning about people. I’m being in the moment and taking in the experience. That’s what I need to bring home. I need to cook and make drinks for myself as an experience. For example, I’m eating nachos at a cafe as I write this post. I CAN MAKE NACHOS! But because I’m in the moment, they taste SO MUCH BETTER!!!! I’m actually tasting what I eat! I’m smelling what’s around me, I’m hearing the music, I’m looking around and taking it in! This then filters through my brain and I’m able to be inspired. Clearly, as I write about this, I’ll be sure to write blog posts related to how you can also bring this into your life.

What am I using to keep me on track and how do I mentally help myself?: I combined both of these because honestly there’s nothing wrong with where I live outside of being stalked. My stalker is able to further injure me (if I let him) by causing me panic long after the event is over, so this is a mental thing I need to work on. Mindfulness is something I’ve been working on with my therapist. It helps compartmentalize trauma. I find it easier to see my stalker, acknowledge I’m being stalked, write my lawyer, and then refocus on moving through those emotions in a healthy way rather than being angry or anxious for the rest of the day.

There are a lot of different ways you can cultivate being mindful. I didn’t really use an app. For me, anxiety can easily bring racing thoughts, and I’ve gotten better at noticing when that’s starting to happen. When I catch it, I really try to take in my surroundings. One exercise I’ve found that is EXTREMELY helpful is called 5-4-3-2-1 grounding. You find 5 things you can see. 4 things you can touch. 3 things you can hear. 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste. I’ve often found that at the end of this I usually feel “reset”.

So, those are three things I’m shooting for this year, health, wealth and mental investment. What are your hopes for this year and how do you plan to stick with it? Please let me know in the comments. If you’d like to get updates on how my goals are going and would like to continue to share yours in the comments, then please sign up HERE for notification emails when a new post is made. Don’t forget to look through my other social media on the sidebar to connect with me for exclusive content!

-Heather Astaneh

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